Up For Adventure

If you know me well then you know that I am perfectly comfortable with hanging out on the couch scrapbooking, or playing board games with my kiddos. This summer I am really trying to embrace being outside as much as possible. Previous summers I did the same, kind of - I would spend as much time as possible floating in a pool. This summer I have dug rocks out of my lawn, put together seven flower beds, gone berry picking (which I have always loved), and ventured to a place I had never been, but now love. One of Mad Man’s friends went to a cool waterfall in the beginning of summer. So I put it on our bucket list. Now, I really don’t enjoy driving and this was about an hour away, so summer went on and I almost forgot about the waterfall. The weather looked good yesterday, and I got my dad on board so the kiddos and my dad and I (plus one of T Bear’s good friends) went off on an adventure. I drove, Poppi Man navigated. We had no idea what to expect, which I think was part of the fun for me. Maybe I’ve been watching too much Bachelor in Paradise, but I felt the need for an adventure. So we hiked the trail, which was an easy hike thankfully, and found the steps down to the waterfall. There were other people there wading in the water so we decided to join. Mad Man is so much fun on an adventure. He embraces it right from the start. He had his shirt, socks, and shoes off before I said it was okay to go in!  The girls joined right in. We walked along the slippery, jagged rocks, through the truly frigid water; it was amazing!  Poppi Man went right under the waterfall and the kiddos got very close to it. It was a truly special day; one I am not likely to forget. We explored the other trail when we got out of the water!  It was an excellent way to spend a day. I am looking forward to more adventures. To showing the kiddos that it’s okay to not know exactly what to expect. To embrace the unknown. To live in the moment. To try something new. I am starting to find myself more and more when I am in nature; it’s a beautiful thing.

  

What is it about August?

August is basically a month long Sunday for me. You know the anxious feelings that arise on Sunday mornings that scream “the weekend is over!” That is how the entire month of August feels to me. It’s not the hopeful summer will last forever vibe that July brings. It’s the oh no September is almost here and there is no time to do anything feel. Now, I realize that these are not wholly rational thoughts, but none the less they persist. So what do we do about it?  Tackle August. I’m trying to use up every ounce of every day this month. I’ve checked off summer bucket list items. I’ve made to do lists. I’ve  tried to plan every possible fun thing I can. The result so far is mixed: yes I have accomplished a great deal by taking this approach, but what have I missed?  I haven’t taken many moments to savor the beauty of a summer with a nine year old and six year old. They will never again be this age and we will never have these precise moments. By feeling the dread of September and schedules and routines, I have overlooked the joy of the lack of these during August. So August I see you. I see the days dwindling. I feel the nights getting cooler. I am going to embrace you as you race toward September. And if I am able to conquer you then I will work on taking on Sundays. Enjoy the journey. Be present. Live in the moment. I’m trying. Sometimes I need a reminder, but I’m trying.

Parenting through a separation

Marriage is hard. That is an insane understatement. Maybe I never thought marriage should be hard. You have two people who fall in love, build a life together, start a family...sounds beautiful to me. The reality for me was not beautiful. It was laborious, disappointing, and ultimately unsuccessful and heartbreaking. After almost thirteen years of marriage we decided to try for a separation “a chance for  us to figure out how to be happy” is what we told the kiddos. Sweet, innocent, devastated kiddos - whose life was changed forever by that lame statement. I am going to try to write my way through this. It is in no way meant to be a tell-all, or a blame-game. I am going to focus on how I am parenting through this - which if I’m being honest has shown some of my lowest points of parenting. That certainly fits my theme of a roller coaster - which when I initially named my blog was meant to simply capture the highs and lows; I had absolutely zero notion of how low it would go.

Summer Bucket List 2015

Making conversation during meals with a six year old and a three year old is not always easy or appealing. A few weeks ago, in an attempt to avoid potty humor the kiddos and I came up with an idea to list all of the things we wanted to do over the summer. Here is our list, which took several meals to complete and allowed me not to hear tooting noises for the duration of the creation of our list!

1. Picnic on the property

2. Roast marshmallows

3. Camp on the property

4. Sleep outside

5. Sleepover at Mima and Poppis

6. Plant flowers

7. Start a garden

8. Make the ponds on the property pretty

9. Go for bike rides

10. Go star gazing

11. See fireworks

12. Go for four wheeler rides

13. Play on the playground

14. Have a pic in at the playground

15. Go to Gilbert Lake

16. Blow bubbles

17. Go on a water slide

18. Take swimming lessons

19. Go for long walks

20. Have family game nights

21. Have movie nights

22. Go to Wildwood, New Jersey

23. Build a sand castle

24. Go to the drive-in

25. Try to plan a trip to Disney World

26. Go swimming in a pool, a lake, and the ocean

27. Have play dates with friends - outside

28. Eat outside

29. Go on a hike

30. Have an outside dance party

31. Get ice cream from the ice cream man

32. Play boardwalk games in Wildwood, New Jersey

33. Catch lightning bugs

34. Make S'mores 

35. Fly kites

36. Go climbing

38. Go berry picking

39. Play outside

40. Go to the zoo

41. Visit Auntie

42. Move!!

43. Build a new house

44. Try new foods 

45. Go flower picking

Halloween 2015

Happy Halloween 2015! I love Halloween; I always have. This year everything is a little crazy because we are still waiting for our new house to be done, so we are living in limbo! Luckily, I knew right where our decorations were stored - well, some of them. We decorated with what we had on October first, like always. Pumpkin carving was definitely lacking this year, since we spend very little time in our "apartment" (which is a half a house attached to my in-laws). Normally I go crazy with the pumpkin designs, but we really only had one night available to carve. So, Mad Man wanted Chase from Paw Patrol which was fun. T wanted something Descendants, which I didn't figure out, so she carved her own! It was so much fun watching her figure out how to work the carving tools and the determination she had to get it just right was awesome!  As always I try to squeeze every drop of fun out of the month of October. We trick or treated at the mall, a retirement village, the college, and two neighborhoods. Fun!!

Fact or Fantasy

I don't like change. At all. It is not something I embrace and it is not something I am comfortable with. So, I try to keep my babies as babies in spite of the fact that they are now six and a half and three and a half. I also have always been a fan of some of the blurred lines between fact and fiction. There was a TV show I loved - I think it was called Fact or Fiction? To me it didn't always matter if it was actually fact or fiction, I liked the entertainment value. Recently, watching Inside Out (awesome by the way if you haven't seen it!), and I laughed so hard when the boxes of facts and opinions got dumped and mixed up. There was a great line to accompany that - something like "it happens all the time." So my ability to answer all of my little ones questions is sometimes quite challenging. 

My T Bear is quite intuitive. She consistently asks questions about God and Heaven, the afterlife, and if certain things are real. I want her to maintain her childlike innocence for as long as possible. Tonight, after watching one of her favorite shows Sofia the First she asked me if wee sprites are real. Umm... There certainly is no manual for how to answer that question! I said, "yes, I think they are." Her response was, "no, they are fantasy." Wow. Okay. What does any 2015 mom do?? Google it. Thankfully the first response we found confirmed that they are in fact real but you cannot see them unless you have some crazy ability to see through their "curtain." Wow. Who writes this stuff anyway?? That answer was sufficient for now. Then I feel guilty for hiding the truth of the world from her. I want her to believe in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, wonder, magic...everything an innocent little girl should believe in. At what point is that wrong? Does it matter? I mean, I believed  in Santa until my parents had to literally show me that they were the ones leaving the presents. I turned out okay, at least in my own estimation!

High: Realizing just how intuitive my T is. 

Low: Facing the reality that my babies will not be innocent babies forever. 

Our Elf on the Shelf 2014 Adventures: Day 12

Both kiddos loved this one! Eli was in his own bathtub filled with marshmallows (of course - what else would an elf bathe in?) in our bathroom. T Bear thought it was funny; Mad Man just wanted the marshmallows!